BOOK REVIEW: DNF Pile #9

I just can't do it anymore.

Reading Discount Armageddon has quite literally been painful for me. In fact, my inner Seanan McGuire fangirl is currently curled up in the fetal position bawling her sad little eyes out in a very dark corner of my mind.

Listen, I don’t know what seriously trippy shit girlfriend was smoking while writing this hot mess of a story, but I do know that she’s capable of so much more (and better…much, much better).

Wow. I’m actually at a loss for words. I suppose I can sum up my issues with this book by saying that I found it to be laughably silly, boring, insipid, and completely clichéd despite its obviously desperate attempts at creativity. It was also over-the-top and trying way too hard to be the cool kid on the block.

Case in point, Verity, the heroine, was a blatant Buffy wannabe clone with the maturity level of a 12-year-old and the common sense of the Jersey Shore cast. She also had the ridiculous tendency to navigate through perilously high city rooftops via a mix of free running & parkour a la Cirque du Soleil meets Showgirls.

Furthermore, there was an absurd amount of info-dumping going on with borderline obsessive overuse of parentheses that was both confuzzling and incredibly distracting.

I have four words that perfectly sum up and describe what I thought of Fated by Alyson Noel and City of Bones by Cassandra Clare:

Unoriginal + Formulaic + Predictable + Boring